Family Planning at Jury Duty....

Dear Gretchie Verse: 

Here is a list of some of the fabulous things that Prince Phillip has said over the years.  Some of them are funny and some of them are just nasty.  He must be bored, after all when one is married to the Queen, what is one to do when everyone is looking at her and not you ? I am however sorry that he was ill and not able to attend his wife's diamond Jubilee. Perhaps he would have rather traded with my and spend all day in a room the size of an airport lounge waiting for your name to be called?

I am just so happy that the boy that was sitting next to me was called. He smelled like 12 packs of cigarettes.

 Then I was able to sit next to a young lady that was not married with a little baby. She cleans rooms at a rest home. She was telling me that she planned on having another baby in a few years.  Funny, she failed to mention a spouse or a boyfriend. I think that is how I should have planned my life. She pretty much snored the entire time that I was sitting next to her.

 When I got home, I felt like taking another shower, just because I know people had been sitting in the same seat I was...farting and all sorts of other things...blah !! I'm bringing wipes next time !!!  




Quotes from Prince Phillip: 


-On key problems facing Brazil.

"If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed."
-To British students staying in China, during a royal visit, 1986.

“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”

“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”
-To a blind women with a guide dog.

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”
-To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes.

“Do you still throw spears at each other?”
-To an Australian Aborigine during a Royal visit in March, 2002. 

“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”
-When asked about traffic jams in London.

“The bastards murdered half my family.”
-When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union.

“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”
-To Elton John after hearing he had sold his Gold Aston Martin.

“You managed not to get eaten, then?”
-To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea.

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
-Amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting, 1996.

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”
-To a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland.

“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.”
-To a Briton in Budapest, Hungary.

"It looks as if it was put in by an Indian."
-Referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory in Edinburgh.

"You are a woman, aren't you?"
-To a native woman who presented him with a small gift in Kenya, 1984.

"Aren't most of you decended from pirates?"
-To an islander in the Cayman Islands, 1994.

"If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but it is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
-At a World Wildlife Fund meeting, 1986.

"In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to come back as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."

"Deaf? I'm not surprised with that bloody racket!"
-To a class of deaf children sat next to a brass band.

"Do you have a licence for that?"
-To a man in a motorised wheelchair.