Me and what I want to be....

You know if I really posted who I want to be...what I really want to do with my life.  I don't think I would like to hear the response . When I was in England I seriously thought ....I am going to go home and pursue a career in linguistics. Seriously, I truly believe that I have been blessed with the gift of tongue. Okay, as we know I have absolutely no self esteem or ego whatever so ever.  So, making a statement like this...its quite profound for me. I am not quite sure what languages to learn. It's more than just learning three languages.  It's a whole lot more than that.  It's just where am I going to use it ? By the time I get my degree how old am I going to be ?  Who is going to hire someone that is going to be as old as I am ?  I am married with three children and I dog ? The whole situation is rather depressing....I swear anything I find interest in turns out to be a dream/fantasy. Which makes me think...well why bother ? Really, must I spend my life regretting that I never finished college. That the life I had truly planned for myself just broke apart for me right in front of my eyes?  Now that I have had a taste of it, I am struggling with moving forward.

So, S says to me three days ago " Mom did you know Michael Jackson was black"? I told her " Yes, I liked him when he was really black ...back in the day". I just found that statement hilarious.  She then asked me if who the next Michael Jackson was going to be.  You know, anyone that walks around claiming they are the king of anything...is going to look like a freak.  Except, of course the men with the ego (the size of a cruise ship) that call their home their castle. Who made that crap up ? Anyway, other cute things that were said. " Mom I am going to tell everyone tomorrow I saw a blimp in the sky, and I moved it with my head". I then reminded the girls how they saw two blimps in Palo Alto.  A said " Mom, Palo Alto is cool, they have cool cupcakes". I don't even think A got a bite of a cupcake from PA. I am going to PA this week or next week. I have decided to get Mrs.F a bracelet for Xmas that she likes. They are only sold at Bloomingdales. I think I am the biggest hypocrite on earth. Queen of Hypocrisy !!