There's a Rhinoceros in the room

So, what's new ? I am so glad you asked...let me tell you...

It's our health lesson for today...

1) Twin A comes home from school yesterday. She's crying ...and my tomboy never cries.  I sorta have had it with this whole kidney stones situation. She has them, she doesn't have them..she had them. Yeah, I started crying myself. Grabbed the fam and we all went to a children's hospital emergency room. They actually ran a kidney panel and an ultrasound. So, this kidney stone is in her ureter and about to come out. She's on heavy meds and she is supposed to be drinking fluids all the time and peeing through a screen so we can catch the stones. The nurses thought I was funny, little did they know I was totally stressed.

She's one of these people...

2) My teen rowed last weekend in Clemson. It was humid and cloudy and they didn't do well, but I think she had a good time. I am proud she is rowing and that she really likes it. I picked her team mates up from High School for practice  and they didn't say a thing..it was crickets the entire time. It was very awkward.

If you drink from this...it will make you horny 

3) I am still preparing for this Habsburg Splendor tour. Picking out some key points to give tours to adults. One of the pieces I wanted to pick was this lovely Rhino Horn shaped into a goblet. It has these naked women on it and a naked man with an erect penis. I really wanted to put it on my tour, but it was recommended that I not. So, you are probably thinking "Gretchie Love, why do you want to talk about this goblet ?" I want to put it on my tour because there was a time when people believed that Rhino Horn was an aphrodisiac and that honestly just fascinates me and I find humor in it. Realy ? Rhino Horn aye ? Also, about sex....there is sex ALL OVER MUSEUMS there are men and women both naked in museums. There are breasts everywhere. It's not porno, it's art, but don't tell me there isn't any sexual undertones in a lot of art. It's as if there is a Rhino in the room....

Yes, this is me

4) Me...I actually tried to blog about this before, but for some reason blogger is not my friend. Two days ago it was my turn to visit . I had a UTI ...not ashamed of it. It wasn't chlamydia, or herpes, or syphilis, So, I should be okay typing it right ?  UTI ? Anyway, I am feeling really crappy. I go to this local urgent care office. I see the doctor...this is usually the routine..

A) YOU PEE IN A CUP

B) DOCTOR RUNS A URINE ANALYSIS


C)YOU GET THE DRUGS

Yes it's that simple...but no, this doctor has another agenda..she is bored. So, she decides to lecture me on weight loss. I would say for 20 minutes she lectures me on this. I am livid. She has never met he in her life. She has no idea what I was doing before my appointment. Does she realize that I see a life coach ? Does she realize I had just met with my internist about weight loss ? Does she realize I do go to a gym ? That I have 3 kids and 2 dogs ? NO SHE HAS NO IDEA. So, she just went on and on and on about her weight loss and her husbands weight loss. She went on and on about owning a dog etc. I JUST WANTED MY DRUGS SO I COULD LEAVE AND SEE MY FAMILY !!!  I am so tempted to right a letter and complain. I won't though, because people just can't help themselves but to delve into peoples lives. She didn't think that it hurt or that I could have been suicidal and that was the last straw...nope just needed to say it.

HELLO ITS REAL !!! 

 So, really when you decide not to mind your own fucking business (yes I said fucking, maybe I should say freaking) freaking business and tell someone they need to lose weight and you have a magic pill or plan to start it...make sure you have a masters degree in psychology or counseling. If you don't please keep your mouth shut.

Did I not say she needs to see this show ??

Okay, yes I am mad and I am taking it out on the world...but really would you rather read this or look at pitiful pictures of Kim Davis ??

Gretchie Love's No Good Very Bad Day...

The cop was not this hot...

So, yesterday I had a bad art tour. Well, the kids were being kids...very very hyper. I had one boy break dancing on the floor ...I had one kid who used an overwhelming amount of hand gestures and the rest of them ....I just felt bad for the chaperon. She tried really hard to control them. They were all boys....all 7 year old boys. So, I thought today is a great morning. It wasn't super hot outside and there was no traffic. In fact, I was running a little earlier than usual. Playing my 80's tunes with the sun roof open...etc . I even decided to use a different exit ...big mistake. I got a traffic citation because however cautious  I was....I made a right turn on a red light and I wasn't supposed to. Since it was Yom Kippur there were tons of cops out on the streets. So, I decided that I wasn't going to let that ruin my day...the ticket that is.

Not me and not those kids....

I arrive at the museum with my badge on ready to go...and get my group. It is again 7 year olds, but there was one girl in the group. I was so hoping that with her presence the group be a little more calm...no, but no break dancing transpired whilst I was there. So, they were just really hyper, bored and they just did not understand any of the questions I was asking. I am almost regretting telling someone at the symposium that I was a good docent for kids.

Not a Happy Girl 

I got home and learned that my twin is having some serious intestinal problems primarily kidney stones...UNBELIEVABLE and can not see a doctor for an entire month. I then crashed asleep and woke up to taking my twins to tennis. On the way home one of my twins reminds me that she had a dentist appointment today that I completely missed.  So, I am just feeling like mother of the year. On the way home I saw some people on the side of the road who had been in a car accident. One young ladies jeep was turned completely around. I felt so bad for her because she was really messed up mentally. Poor thing ! I know exactly how she feels when I totaled Jack. So, yes my day could have been worse...