Mothers Day 2015

Okay, again like my birthday, why do I bother staying at home ? I woke up planning on attending my eldest girls regatta. The twins had a melt down. It was so boring to them...and if we had taken them they would have whined the entire time. So, I stayed at home watching "Annabelle" which turned out to be not so scary. I can't remember what else I did...I know out of depression I took a nap. I contemplated writing emails of anger or posting on my facebook page how disappointed I was . How I was stuck at home with my twins ignoring me and playing Minecraft. I didn't express my anger or disappointment. Instead, I made myself a heath bar sundae. It tasted horrible. You know I used to use food to soothe my anger or depression and I am just not into food like I used to be. When my eldest returned after being away for two days we had dinner. My spouse was playing some game on his phone and kept putting off getting dinner. I no longer like fast food...I don't like any fast food actually, but I did feel like having some Greek Gyros. He brings it home with a salad and it tastes so so and then we watch one episode of "Stargate SG1" which has been our evening tradition and two episodes of "Game of Thrones". I then take a sleeping pill and go to bed.

I ordered my Mother's Day gifts online. Which consisted of three items from Cath Kidstson,,,a phone case, an underground ticket holder, and a tote bag that has cowboys on it. I also ordered two books on the history of London. So, when those "things" arrive I will be happy. Again, why don't I just go out of town and just do what I want to ? Like drive down to St.Petersburg and visit the Dali Museum? I told my eldest that we are going to go shopping next weekend and maybe a movie or a visit to a museum. Yes, I am angry with my twins...but not so much my spouse. Maybe next weekend we can go to pancake house and eat like Scandinavians ? I have to lose weight now. I have this feeling that people just don't like me because I am overweight. Shallow are the  people that can not look inside ones soul and see the beauty within it.