Dear Putin: Okay, why are you in Kiev ? I'm just curious...why can't you leave them alone? Really, if you are doing a crappy job at managing your own country...why don't just stay there ? Why don't you take over North Korea ? I think you probably abuse less people and kill them. I think you are also less controlling....what do you think ?
Dear Dr. B: Thank you again for you're rude message on the phone last week. I would be delighted to go and get blood drawn. You know if you had told me that this had been for insurance purposes I would get it. Unfortunately, you failed to mention that and had your rude receptionist call me instead. So, I had to go out and get a new one that if stuck in an ice storm I would NOT be stuck in traffic 10 hours !!!
Dear V: Since I have seen your baby stuff around your mothers house all I have done is dreamed about being pregnant and having a baby. Yes, in fact in my dreams I use it as an excuse for being fat....oh THAT"S WHY I'M FAT....I'M PREGNANT !! You realize my entire family would institutionalize me if I had anymore kids ?
Dear High: Lately, I have been really really insecure about the whole docent thing. Sometimes I think that I want it so bad that I will be let down. I also worry about offending classmate being so ..so...outgoing ? Um...not serious ? I worry about stuff like that...apparently NOT being serious is a bad thing in the south.
Dear Pretend Spaniard: I can write you these messages because a) you are pretend and b) since you are pretend you are in Spain laying on the beach. Anyway, I could have used you last night at my connect group...just so you know. Two men there were assholes. Sorry mom I swore...however they were. One wanted nothing to do with me because ...I don't know...he was intimidated by me ? One guy was just so totally self absorbed, I wanted to just walk over and throw up on him. He made a comment to someone else how outspoken I am. Really ? I am outspoken ? Dude, I am loud and funny and that is about it. If I am at a table of religious uptight conservative "Christians" who can't get a list of things they would like to do together as a group...yes I will be loud and funny and get your brains moving. I'm just sorry y'all can't think outside the box.
Okay....now where was I ?
Dear Twins: I hope you are enjoying your new bikes. Why so many injuries though ? Truly, I have never seen so many injuries on little girls ...ever ! Maybe you do need knee pads and elbow pads ? Oh man that would make me a freaking helicopter parent !!!!
1 comment:
I don't count asshole as a curse word, isn't it name calling, or maybe just labeling? Maybe it is just a warning to others that the person isn't winning popularity contests, and therefore a service to other funny, kind, group members.
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