Ball of Confusion...that's what the world is today...

Dearest Gretchie Verse: I have decided to reveal my pretend EX boyfriend. It was bad enough that the flowers didn't smell, there was no back rubs, concept cars, trips to Indonesia, and Mother's Circus cookies. Dude, but to go on national television and say that I did not exist ! What is up with that ? It's like taking me on a date in your Mercedes Benz G Class and playing blasting the song "Nothing" by Depeche Mode in the stereo. You have taken our pretend relationship to a new level.

 Whatever Manti te'o !!!

Okay, the reality is if this guy was actually duped then I feel bad for him. The whole situation just seems totally bizarre. Until then DUDE YOU ARE MY EX !!

Dear Connie: Thank you so much for including MOI in your New Years newsletter ! I am so flattered and it came out AWESOME ! If my family wasn't so dysfunctional we would have one too. You have two really cool kids....you have no idea.

Dear Twinzies: It's true you are a year older. I am just slightly irritated on your choices for birthday meals. I bring you cupcakes to school for your lunch and you don't eat them. You chose Barbie gifts and fight over them. You chose dinner at freaking McDonald's ...I HATE McDonald's  Then this fine a lovely Saturday morning you choose I HOP ? I am so not delighted in these choices. McDonald's made me nauseated and I HOP was crowded, the wait was long, and I am not sure if they actually serve real food. The eggs...tasted almost like plastic. Next year it's organic for you ladies !!!

My ear looks like this, but someone took a blender threw up in it and inserted it into my ear....

Dear Ears: I have freaking HAD IT WITH VERTIGO. I did what my doctor told me to do and what happens ? I feel 5000 times worse. I slept most of the day. You would know since you are attached to my sexy voluptuous body. Well ears, you will be happy to know that after having half my body ultra-sounded my arteries are clean and clear of fatty debris. I suppose this means that I will be running some sort of marathon ? Sure, after my freaking nauseating VERTIGO goes away.

Dear Anna: Lady, if you see grammatical errors TELL ME ! Nobody tells me !! grumble grumble...