Gretchie's notes from a dentist office....

I am sitting at the Dentist office waiting for Sarah to get her one of three crowns. They're about 500 a pop and I am considering selling my twins on ebay to pay for them. I am afraid though that nobody would be willing to buy 6 yr old twins...I mean you can't just buy one. It's a two for one deal...and no returns...just like when I birthed them.

 I figure that this is what is going to be like when I am in London. Lots of afternoons in raining weather blogging. I am hoping that there is not a TV blasting Food Network Giana the bobble head in my ear. I am not quite familiar with UK TV. I am however enjoying "In Betweeners" on BBC. It's hilarious ! 16 year old boys at a private school being 16 year olds. All they think about are girls and sex and girls and sex. Thinking that they are very cool, they are total idiots . It is like all 16 year old boys are...idiots. You know I don't think men ever pass 16. The age of men never applies to maturity. They look different on the outside, but on the inside...MOST of them are assholes. Did I say that ?

Anyway, back to London. I don't have a bucket list this time. I am thinking that it will mostly be museums and estates. I will apparently having a plethora of time. I was going for almost a month and then I tried to shorten it to 3 weeks. Well, it's an extra $250 to change my dates.

 So, think that I am going to Dusseldorf and Herberhausen for a week. Can I just tell you how excited I am to speak German ? I dream that I speak German. What is interesting is I think my German grammar is better in dreams than in real life. I remember sitting in a tent in Herberhausen and reading my favorite book to Kerstin and her little friends. The book is called "Oh, Wie shon ist Panama". Its about a little tiger and a....wow I have to google what it is. Okay, its a little bear. Anyway, they smell a box of bananas from Panama and they decide to go on an adventure to Panama. It's about their adventures meeting different animals on the way. So, I am reading this book to Kerstin. I am thinking that my German is fabulous...that I have lived in Germany so long they are REALLY going to enjoy this book. Turns out they didn't understand a THING I was saying. It totally made me sad. My German speaking ego just exploded into nothing all over that tent. Three year old kids made me feel like a loser.

That is my life story. Like I can play the piano. If you watched me play you might think that I can play. The truth is I can play by ear. Which apparently is a really cool talent, but I have problems looking at notes and corresponding them with my fingers. So, reading music is complicated and I take lessons and give up. There is a older lady up the street that I could take lessons from. I figured the combo of playing by ear and reading music I could play quite well. That is how I lived my life. I start something...realize that I suck at it and give up.

I did want to attend Documenta in Kassel, Germany. It's actually in happening this year, but it starts in September. I should have gone the year that I was there. I really blew it. I think truly it was my first exposure to art. Well going to an art exhibit in Kassel. I walked around like I was some German intellect, but actually I had no idea who the heck I was looking at. I think the more art exhibits you attend the better appreciation for art you have. No, I am still not an expert.

The following blabbering is just me and having my feelings hurt....yes, hard to believe I have feelings...


So, I am wondering if this is all about my trip to London. I KNOW most mothers do NOT leave their families for one month. That that if I was making money for the family that it would be perfectly acceptable. That unless it is under the approval of the rest of the world..then I should not go. Quite frankly, there is  nobody in my family seems to have an issue for me leaving for such a long time. It was discussed with my children and I told them that most mothers do not leave on a trip for one month. Well Rah Rah's reply to that is " Well, you are not most mothers". I worked and saved my money and asked if I could go and I was told I could go...so I am freaking going. Is there fear that I am never coming back ? That I might like London so much I would leave my children behind ? Do I think that when I get back to Georgia the clouds will open, bird will be singing and everything is going to be alright ? Is it going to make me a better person ? Am I going to change ? No , and no and did I mention NO ? I LOVE the UK ! I and if I took my kids I would not be able to do and see the things that I want to. So, I could wait til my husband retires ? Yes, then I can be what ? 70 years old and just go out and see and do the things that I have been saving for the past two years ?

I am just pissed that instead of being happy for me like my family is that people have to be crappy negative people.  What would Jesus do ? I don't know Jesus was never married with kids. There is nothing in the bible that says that I can not go to London for a month. There is nothing in the bible that says that the father of my children should not go to curriculum night. Seriously, if you have issues with these...feel free to call the father of my children. Because you apparently know just freaking everything about everything. That is why you are wearing the parent of the year sash...and I am not.