Dear ARC: I am very sorry that I have not been able to donate my blood. You know what I have 3 kids and sometimes 4. If you are willing to drive out here and take blood from me at my home feel free to. You can even have my platelets too !
Dear left toe: Okay, it has been too long now. I have lowered myself to contact my podiatrist and now I am going to be wearing something crazy on my foot. I can't even wear shoes or flip flops ! Barefoot anywhere is going to be quite the fashion statement !
Dear Laura: Sorry about today ! We are going to keep in touch ! Don't you worry about a thang !!
Dear Alice the puppy: You are too cute for words ! Don't tell T this but I love it when you cuddle with me in my bed at night. You don't snore and that really appeals to my tired bones wanting to sleep.
Dear Prime Minister David Cameron: I am quite disturbed that you have yet to contact me about my position as the Social Network Liaison. I can't imagine contacting you any other way. Oh maybe sending you my CV will be helpful ?
Dear E&A: Is there a reason why you won't stop crying at school ? I haven't left on a trip in awhile. So, I am hanging with you two all the time. Ladies we only have a few months of school left and then it's Kindergarten in the Deep South ! WooHoo !!!
Dear S: I was looking at you the other day. You are going to grow up and be quite the young lady. I am feeling so blessed that you were not born with the crazy hormones that I was born with. Boys are evil and men are pigs..just stick to that until you are 30...then start dating !!
Dear Brazil: So, what is it like having our president there ? Is he nice to everyone ? Has he been to Rio yet ? Is he getting his picture taken with the big statue of Jesus ? America needs one of those...a big Jesus. Oh heck everyone needs a little Jesus in our lives !
Dear Libya in particular Mr. Gaddifi: No really you ought to listen to Mrs. Clinton and the no fly zone dealio. Seriously, she is serious, and if you REALLY cared about your country you would listen to her. You know why do dictators not care about their people ? Only the people that worship them ? Mr. G perhaps you need a little Jesus in your life. You know his birth was right around the corner from you. You might want to check him out. Jesus loved everyone...everyone..You have to admit he does say a lot of really cool things. Now stop killing your people !!!
Dear Japan: Okay, I am really feeling for you now. I think it's interesting that people from Japan are wasting their time reading my blog. What is going to happen to Tokyo ? If I could I would open my home up to you. Maybe when I move to Atlanta in my huge mansion I can house you. But you will be making me Sushi :) I think its a pretty fair deal !
Dear L: Okay you said the word "Sometime" in your letter...so when is sometime ? Sometime in 20 years or sometime this week...could you be a bit more specific ?
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