Dear Laptop

I am sorry to break the news to you, but you are dying. I can't even remember the day we got you. You have been a true friend to the end. You have outlived any of the pets that we have had over the past few years...our Chinese water dragon, our two hamsters, two mice, and all of our fish. I am so sorry the way you have been treated. Like all the times I spilled cornflakes and diet coke on you. The five times that the twins removed all of your keys. The time that the twins make a permanent line in your LCD screen. When your Ctrl key broke and is now stuck in the computer. The abuse you received by being held while I was rocking in our recliner that caused your cord to slice in half. When we charged you at Alison's house and you heated and melted. We are going to have to recycle you and send you to China. It makes me happy to think that the people there will recycle your parts. They will remove the lead from you...and because they have no idea what to do with all that lead..they will make beautiful Dora The Explorer toys so that my daughters can play with you. This will lead to lead poisoning. So,you might just consider it revenge.

DEAR TOM, TRASH THE LAPTOP AND BUY US AN APPLE FOR CHRISTMAS. BUY SARAH AN IPOD AND FOR ME AN I PHONE. I PROMISE TO KEEP IT SAFE FROM OUR CHILDREN.