Notes to the Gretchie Verse

Pretty much the seats from hell......

Dear Amtrak: Okay, can I tell you how delighted I am NOT to be sitting in a reserved seat ? Can we just discuss my misadventures of the last trip to DC and NYC ? The 80 year old lady I sat next to that made me feel AWKWARD, the man screaming on the phone behind me in some foreign language at 4 am.  I know the best thing to do is fly, but rah rah wants to take the train. I am thinking that this is her last train trip. Just wait til she tastes the food...um yuck.

I miss your freakin guts sooooo much !!

Dear Shal and Little F: I am sorta bipolar about the whole trip. I figure that Shal and I will pretty much kill each other while we are there. There will be lots of screaming, crying and Caroline will be in the middle. I think that is what happens when you have a love/hate relationship with your best friend.  I think next time I will invite you're mothers instead. Since I love them both...what is it about me and my friends mothers ? It's not as if my mother isn't fabulous !

It's a wee bit bright, it has to fade !!

Dear Momma Mia: During swim practice today a girl came up to Rah Rah and said " Hey that lady over there has pink hair". In which Julia said " Um yeah, that's Rah Rah's mom". I suddenly felt ....felt like you felt when I was in 7th grade.  Suddenly, I am the old embarrassing mother ! Well, Rah Rah thinks it's cool. She told me her friends think I am freaking awesome.  What ? Like this is new news ??

I'm 44 too

Dear Tan Mom: Okay, you are not a normal mother. If you were a loving mother, you wouldn't be giving yourself skin cancer. I admit , yes there was a time when I thought having a tan was fabulous. I would go to Santa Cruz and lay out on the beach with my long blond and tan. Lady, I was 21 years old. I am now 44 and so are you. I asked my daughter today how old she thought you were...she said " I don't know 200 or 50".  Not saying that I won't get skin cancer...but you are whacked !

What seriously Twinkies are processed food??

Dear Twinzies : I pretty much stocked our cupboards with processed food and sugar. Oh, that's right sugar is processed. Anyway, I figure it's going to be a lot easier for your father to feed you. You can thank me later when we are standing next to each other at weight watchers.
Dear God: I am wondering if the karma worked today or not ? I wonder what the gold digger got away with ?

Could you just say " Oh Gretchie" like 4000 times ??

Dear James Lees-Milne: Oh My Gosh ! I am in LOVE with your book " Some Country Houses and their Owners". Could you be more fascinating and fabulous ? You realize if I grew up in your era that you and I would be besties..we would.  Not only do we have a passion for English country estates, but for the peculiarity of the rich and famous, architecture, and you were gay/bi sexual ! What more could a lady ask for ?? Anyway, James I have gone through this book and looked at every estate.  Since I will be staying in England for quite awhile....I now have something to do.

Yeah, this is my estate...what about it ?? 

Dear Mrs F:  All of the estates mentioned above are located in the vacinity of your home. I am thinking ROAD TRIP ! Can Cookie come along ? She is really cool...she is like an older version of me :)