Notes to the Gretchie Verse

Dearest Owen: I am very sorry about your...whatever the heck is going on with you. Your poor ears and eyes ! I don't know is worse....my ankle, finger, toe and eye or your skin condition. It's going to be okay. I just need to stop injuring myself.

Dear Matt: Thank you for the workout today. You know that when I come home, my bandanna is soaked and my arms are sweaty....you did a good job. Think of all the Diet Coke flowing through my pores on to the NPT towels. So, I am wondering do I get the bumper sticker or not ? It's not my fault I fell down the stairs !

Dear Jury Duty: Really? I have lived here for less than a year and you pick me ? You don't want me on a jury, I will cry the entire time. Besides, Mar is coming !!! I have been waiting for her arrival for MONTHS ! That's mean !

Dear Gold Diggers: I am sure that nobody  knows who you are, I wish I knew you too...wait...would I associate with a gold digger....um...probably not :)

Dear Cinco de Mayo: I miss you in California. I miss Casa Orzco and the fabulous refried beans you have.  I have this theory in my mind that all Mexican food from California is only the true authentic...which isn't true. When am I going to surrender to the fact that Georgia is a nice place to live ?

Dear Georgia: I sure do write to you a lot don't I ? Okay, what I really wanted to write to is the road kill and wild life of Georgia.  I was trying to explain to some friends that we don't really have a lot of road kill in the bay area. We have sidewalks and .....and streets and sidewalks. We don't have coons, 5 dead squirrels on one street, deers, cougars, and I swear that I saw an armadillo....I did !! I have never driven on a road that said turtle crossing. Okay, the only thing that I have seen that freaked me out was two vultures on someones lawn on our street.

 You know "The Jungle Book" " We're Your Friends". Those..vultures...without fabulous British Accents. I drive by with the girls and they just stand there over a dead squirrels. They weren't afraid of the car and I am assuming people. They were just ....you know creepy. My friend also said they have copperhead snakes. here and I just thought that my only threat was tornadoes....welcome to the south Gretchie Poo !!