Notes to the Gretchie Verse

Dear Roswell: Your beautiful leaves are falling off the trees and thus begins the end of fall. I don't know whats more depressing the leaves falling off the trees or the huge hole that E dug into the wall with a exacto knife ?

Dear E: When your father leaves for his vacation, please don't get upset and destroy our home...it's just another reason for me to purchase 10 more pounds of pretzel M&M's and take off for

Some where in Europe...psst...it's a secret....

Europe....permanently !
Dear T: Delighted that you are going on your vacation soon. I was delighted that I was just able to pee alone without dogs or kids busting down the door.

Dear S: Please don't bitch about not going to Tahoe. Really, Tahoe is beautiful, but 1/2 the people in Danville went to Tahoe just to say they went. Our trip to DC is going to be the BEST experience for you.

Dear Economist: I was looking in your magazine today at jobs. As we have discussed before, I am not educated enough to take any of them on. I saw one, I saw one that screamed my name : Management of Events and Visits. You know what...if you provide me with a place to live and food...I will totally take the job. It's ME ! it Screams GRETCHIE LOVE TAKE ME I'M YOURS !

Creepy

Dear Silvio Berlusconi: Okay, you say you did nothing wrong...ethically you did 4000 things wrong. I don't know how fabulously you ran your government, but apparently you didn't do so hot at that either. Were you compensating by screwing little girls for the power you lack ? Just sayin'....

Dear Angela Merkel : Can I just say ROCK ! Okay, now I don't know you personally, but I am delighted you aren't sleeping with teenage boys. You were nominated for your intelligence and not for your looks. Not to say you aren't pretty, but really you seem to be the only one not treading water in Europe. I can't imagine how many lifebuoys you have left ??

Disgusting, and more disgusting

Dear Seif  Al-Islam: My heart truly bleeds for you (NOT). I want to tell you how truly TRULY delighted to hear that you have been caught. What exactly were you thinking ? That you and your piece of shit father were going to get away with what you have done ? Sorry, not a fan of evil dictators. Evil doesn't work, maybe you should have watched Disney Movies or Lord of the Rings or you know something along those lines....

Fabulous Jackie O !!

Dear Jackie O: Sorry you are featured in the same blog as Seif Al-Islam. Truly, he doesn't and should not be featured in the same page as you. Well, think about it Jackie, you are in heaven, and Seif is going to hell. It is not my place to judge, but I think MILLIONS of people would agree with me. So, Jackie I am going to listen to your interviews with Arthur M. Schlesinger. Jackie for some reason I mix up Schlesinger and Kissinger mixed up. I bet they knew each other though...anyway, I have decided to visit your grave in DC. Feel free to haunt me at any time. I need some hints how to become more Kennedy friendly. Apparently, I will never become one, but I might as well pretend that I am one.

No, I am not QUITE there yet !!

Dear God: I am sick of being fat...really I am :(