Notes to the Gretchie Verse

Dear T: I must say it's quite a delight to have you home. Do see why I have need so much carpet cleaner?

Dear Little Girls and Boys of Greenbrook: Thank your for the TP. I have some bad news...it's really strong TP and we had no problem taking it down. I am flattered you picked our Barbie Sized Townhouse community for your victims. If you need a list, I have one safely kept in my pocket of people that deserve to be TP'd.

Oh yeah you are totally hot !

Dear Economist: WOW what a fabulous issue this month !! I must say that the picture of Qaddafi is rather frightening, but I am realizing that all freaky possessive dictators are always evil ugly.  Anyway, what more could I ask for : Future of Food, Unpacking IKEA, Why loneliness makes you ill, and Blood and Oil lessons from tyranny. These are the reasons why I love you Economist. I bet you thought I subscribed just for the pictures huh ?

This was not it...but oh Eric how I love thee.....

Dear Entertainment Weekly: You too...thumbs up for this weeks issue. I must say though, despite my love for Wills is true, that picture oh him and his wife airbrushed beyond belief...totally nasty. Kate, forget anorexia just stick to taking care of those eyebrows. They...they are quite disturbing.
Also EW: Loved the quotes from SoundBites. " Will, you have more grease on your hair than the guy behind Wikileaks". Also, absolutely love The Bullseye.  Okay, what is going on ...did you hire the old writers back again ? This issue is totally appreciated !!!
Dear E&A: There is ...tomato sauce on our keyboard...why ?

Dear Alice the Dog: I bet  you are so delighted to see Daddy home again ? I am delighted he took you on a very long long walk. Please don't puke bile on my carpet anymore...please !
Dear S: I am really happy about Michelle staying with us. Although, why her mother allows to stay with her weeks at a time...hmmm..I suppose I could do that as well...

Dear L: I block you, I don't....I block you, I don't....I can't make up my mind what to do with you. Oh and by the way Block is not code for "Love".

Dear Banana Grams: How did I not know of your existence ? You are addictive, now if I could just replace you instead of carbs.
Dear K: Thank you for your help and support this week. You are a fabulous friend ! Would  you like to live with us in Georgia ?

I don't think these girls have had twins

Dear Hotlanta: I am upstairs in my Barbie Sized Townhouse. The heat is blasting..it must be 85 degrees up here. I am sweating profusely. I am tempted to wear a bandanna. I think this is what to expect from you. Except, I will again have fabulous skin. Move out Hotlanta Mommas here I come !!!