Notes to the GretchieVerse

DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country. -- Ambrose Bierce

When you say you're going to look at my blog spending less than 1 second on it that doesn't count.

Dear Economist: I read you everyday. It's the best Christmas Present EVER !

Dear Foreign Affairs Magazine: I have been trying to read you everyday too. So, I find that in your magazine I have to highlight the words I do not understand and then find them in a dictionary. I think it's okay that I don't know all about nuclear weapons.

Dear S: The time has come my lovely daughter that you are entering into "girls are totally wicked" stage. They are ...girls are totally evil and bullies. I am proud that you are an intelligent beautiful girl. I am proud that you are a good person who cares for everyone. I am proud that you are honest and goofy and wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better daughter. Now, just be a good example to your sisters and I will pay you  60 bucks.

Dearest Evil Twins: Well I must say I am pretty shocked about your behavior at school. We don't throw toys over the fence at the sheep. Uncle Jack would be so disappointed !
Dear T: First I was afraid I was petrified ! Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side ! So, what I am saying is " I will survive".  Step Ova ! I am one bad solo motha !

Dear Momma Mia: So, are we really going to Germany next year ? Can you just drop me off in London ? I don't think that my hat made the statement that I was hoping for at the House of Parliament.

Dear Om: Can I just tell you how sorry I was last night that I was not able to attend your recital. Mrs. Gretchen has short term memory loss. I am going to make it up to you.....I don't care what your mother says ! I am sure there is some wicked super hero movie out there we can go to !! This reminds me of Ryan Reynolds. Dude ....I have sent you my digits 35 times in the last 3 days...when are you going to call ?

Dear British Monarchy: I am so sorry that I am now associated with the picture of "Bertie and the Queen Mother". It was not my intention to draw in so many people to that picture. Well, at least when they look at my blog they will know how much I respect your family. I wish I lived in Eaton and hung out with you at Windsor Castle. It's lovely there and you could make me into something cool...like the Duchess of something...Lady Gretchen is good too.