Dear Heavenly Father: Stop it...stop making me age ! Honestly, I have to go to the Clinique counter and buy more make up. It's costing us a fortune and I am sick of "old age spots". What happens when I am 70 ? Is my face just going to be one big age spot ?
Dear Stacey: It's now Christmas vacation...are you around ? If I had the energy and the money I would pile a pyramid of cupcakes on your porch. I think now they would freeze..but that might be good ?
Dear Momma Mia: Lets go back to London next year. I will be happy, healthy, and my plane ride will only be 5 hours...can you dig it ?
Dear T: One day we will be sitting down in our huge house in Georgia and listening to Barry Manilow singing "Looks like we made it". Heck I might even stop crying :)
Dear Gottingen Famile: Why don't you comment on my blog ? I am sure you have lots to say about Mr. Assange, and the International Politics of the world :)
Dear S: I am dreading what is about to happen to you and your body and your hormones.
Dear E&A: What do I buy you for Christmas ? I am clueless what you actually want. If I buy what you want will you actually play with it ? Because you have enough toys to provide every child in the continent of Africa with one toy each. They sit there and allow Alice the dog to eat them. E&A it just ain't right.
Dear Mar: When are we opening " Only the lonely" ? Can I use all my different accents on our customers ? Can they choose an accent that we can talk to them with ? Can we have specialty conversations ? How much do we charge per customer ? Can we have couples sessions as well ? You know how old people just go to restaurants and stare at each other and not say a thing ? Maybe we can text people too?
Dear Shal: I miss you :( Why did you not take me to India ? It's cold and rainy and I really don't want to be hanging in the rain forest. It's so cold in there ! Then again the rain forest has an open bar and wide screen TV. Hmm...I am thinking of stocking your fridge with cancer in a can...ja ja ain't going to like that. Please tell Roopa and Uma hello and give them a hug and a kiss from me. Wait, I take that back ...just give them a hug !
Dear Jesus or Baby Jesus or Teenage Jesus: I want to formally apologize now for not having such a hot diggity dog attitude about your birthday. I am fully aware that you are supposed to come before my family. It's just that ...you know..like Mary (your virgin mother) I had kids around the same time that she did. No, it was not by immaculate conception, but she knows the pain. By the way what kind of parties did she throw for you ? That is exactly how the world should celebrate your birthday. It would just make my life a lot easier and everyone else to has to pay property taxes.
Dear Mr. Assange: You are getting old now. I mean you look really old, but the whole Wikileaks thing is getting old.
Dear Oxfam: January is just around the corner. Do I have a plan ? Well sorta, but you know a bad time to try in lose weight when I am leaving all my friends and moving to Georgia. Maybe if I ignore Georgia then it won't happen and I can just remain skinny and living in the bubble ?
Dear Economist: WOW ! Next week double issue ? How am I going to be spending my Christmas Eve ? Well reading you of course ! Hmm...I was looking for your Tufts University ad this week...it was missing ? Well you know I can always get my man to apply for London Business school and the girls and I can live in a box down by the river :)
No comments:
Post a Comment