Last night as usual I was crying. I was crying about a lot of things. First of all my sister decides to diagnose me with yet another psychological disorder. She said I had Narcissism or Narcissistic Rage. I first thought maybe she was right, but after reading them on Wiki.com I don't. It's insulting and painful for people to say ....well this is your problem. I am also crying because I have had it with feeling like a loser. Like, no matter what I do, no what interests I have people just laugh at me. So what if I have a lot of interests. I may never find what I am good at for the rest of my life, but crap I am trying ! I am doing the best that I can and that is good enough !
So, during all of this crying Roxy call me and invites me to the opera in San Francisco ! She had $300 box seat tickets to The Makropulos Case ! She was just handed to them from a lady from Dublin. So, the seats were free. T had an old Bart Ticket so all I had to pay for was the snacky snacks ! It was my first Opera....can you imagine. I will never be able to have those seats again for the rest of my life ....unless of course I marry Gavin Newsom. Roxy and I sat with these really stuffy snooty people. We found them hilarious. I can't understand why people get so fancy schmancy for the Opera. You spend all the time looking at the performers and not at each other. It's the whole Fine Arts Culture I suppose. We saw some pretty dang fascinating people. One lady was dressed like Evita Peron. I was calling her Princess Lea. Her dress was very beautiful. I was long and flowing and she must have weighed 100 pounds with big fake lips. It was just too OTT for me. It was as if she was competing with the cast. I don't even think she was sitting in box seats. So, I will go to the Opera again, but I would not see the Makropulos Case again. I would like to see an Italian or German Opera.The story was okay, but I didn't care the subtitles. It was people just singing lines. So, I have no other opera experiences, but is that what it is ...people singing out a play ? Oh well I did make my last voyage out to Palo Alto. I bought some bracelets for Mrs. F and then went to Katy's Cupcakes for the last time. I mean I will most likely go to Palo Alto again, but not for Bloomingdales or shopping. I might want to take Sarah to the Stanford Campus or see the Rodin
exhibit. For some reason in my mind I was thinking Degas. Doesn't Degas do all of those beautiful ballet paintings ? There is really no other reason for me to go there. Well, I am expecting more crying today an a little bit of Jesus. Just not 3 hours of Jesus.
1 comment:
Oh Gretchen, let me diagnose you: you worry too much. So many things about yourself that you think are weird or strange are actually normal and common, you're just brave enough to admit them openly, while the rest of us squelch them down and then need deep therapy to drag them back up and deal with them.
As someone who is also trying to figure out "what I want to be when I grow up", I understand the helpless feeling, but don't let it get you down.
We should just talk. Call me during the day when you're free.
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